If you are a first generation Indian American, more than likely you have or will feel the pressure of marrying within your caste or samaj. Whether it is the pressure of “what will others say and think” or your parent(s) threatening to disown you, at some point you start to feel stuck and trapped. When this happens, usually one starts to feel anxiety and even have depressive symptoms. How do you untangle yourself from this emotional blackmail from your parents and the community? Here are few things to try to regain control and manage the anxiety and set boundaries:
- Limit interactions with the source of pressure (parents, relatives, people in the community)
- Identify how you can control the dynamic (ending the conversation, changing the topic, removing yourself from the environment)
- Create a plan of action and bullet points on what you want to convey to your parents about the pressure, how it makes you feel, what you need and taking back control (for example the topic of marriage only is discussed when you bring it up)